5pm (PST): Why is Adele wearing my Mom’s curtains?
507pm: Why the hell do these damned awards shows need hosts, anyway? If I wanted to watch a James Cordden comedy routine, I’d watch his late night show. Which I don’t.
511pm: Jennifer Lopez just quoted Toni Morrison, 11 minutes in.
513pm: I guess streaming really is the way of the future, cf. Chance.
514pm: And Paris Jackson just brought up #NoDAPL. Very nice.
5:18pm: Like it or not, “I Feel It Coming” will likely be one of the best songs performed tonight.
5:30pm: And “The Fighter” too.
5:34pm: Just when I thought I couldn’t hate twentyone pilots more, they prove me wrong.
5:58pm: Interestingly, Beyoncé’s performance feels very influenced, particularly in its staging, by her little sister’s A Place at the Table (which I’m delighted won an award earlier for “Cranes in the Sky”). I’m watching the Grammys tonight with my buddy Tim, who’s kind of hate-watching (he eschews most contemporary pop music), and he’s no fan of Bey. I pointed out to him, though, the amount of thought and frankly ART that went into that performance.
6:18pm: Yes, Bruno, yes.
6:23pm: Sure Chik-Fil-A is appalling, but those VR commercials with cows and “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” are kinda awesome.
6:45pm: WHO MADE MAREN MORRIS WEAR THAT
6:46pm: Also, holy fuck that performance was terrible.
6:50pm: GM tribute: Because OF COURSE they had to turn “Fastlove” into a deathly ballad. Fuck you, Adele. “Fastlove” is a song of joy and sex, not a funeral dirge. And fuck the Grammy producers for coming up with this idea. “Praying for Time” would’ve made plenty of sense and been a solid choice. But this makes me actively angry.
7:04pm: I don’t fully get Coloring Book, but I’m still happy for Chance’s wins tonight. I’m not as happy for that dress that Taraji P. Henson was wearing, though.
7:07pm: Tim and SCREAMED for LaVerne Cox. Love that Gaga is being a total metal chick, which I believe absolutely.
7:35pm: I think Celine Dion looks awesome; she’s aging naturally. I don’t love most of her music, but I love her and feel horribly for the way she’s had to publicly mourn her late husband. Of course she gives Song of the Year to “Hello” — nothing else was ever going to win.
7:48pm: Tribe fuckin’ BRING IT. I’m so grateful for Busta’s denunciations of President Agent Orange. No one else has dared make political statements (except, oddly, J-Lo), so it’s further proof that we need ATCQ now more than ever.
7:59pm: THAT’S how you do it: Bruno Mars knows how to tribute Prince. The outfit, the guitar (I didn’t even know he knew how to play!), the presence, ALL of it.
8:23pm: Really, NARAS? You couldn’t include Pete Burns in your “In Memoriam,” but made room for “the queen of Chinese opera”? Fuck you.
8:35pm: Adele, doesn’t matter how much you thank Beyoncé for her album; you still won awards that should’ve gone to her.